Dear Stress: Let's break up

Dear Sugar Shells,

It’s an ordinary, low-voltage week here in Casa Lamonica...outside of Emma The Brave’s vet visit, during which the words “overweight” and “senior” were each used about nine times.  (Weight management kibble, here we come!)

However, today I have a TRUTH BOMB for you:

Relieving my cat of a few pounds actually seems far more daunting than relieving the stress of humans. 

Yes, you read that correctly:  I doubt that I will be able to help my darling, health-challenged pet lose a bit of weight.  She doesn’t want to run or jump or play much anymore, and she obviously doesn’t diet.

BUT I totally can (and do!) help humans relieve their stress.  That's easy. 

You see, while I might not be the CEO of Mischief, I am most certainly the Empress of Stress.  This is an official title that I earned legitimately by sweating everysingledetail of my life up until about age 34.

Here’s the budget tour:

I used to work unspeakably hard, all the time, often - to my own surprise - discovering a new level of exhaustion...and I was always running (in heels! ouch!) to The Next Thing - and not in a cute airport romance movie kind of way, either - and upon reaching The Next Thing, I could indulge my clinical addictions to email and sugar, cramming even more work into my already-full days.  Yowza.  In my 13-year education career, I probably got less sleep than my cat got yesterday.  

So, in a word:  STRESS!  (Or:  YUCK.)

That distressing picture is what I thought adult-ing was all about.  Which, in the words of Liz Lemon, is a stone-cold bummer.  

I like my life a whole lot more now that I mostly don’t obsess over Doing All The Things.  Occasionally I slip into errand-running perfection (do them ALL in one trip!!), marathon work days, and other abominations, but I know how to relieve stress.  More important:  I know how to skip the stress in the first place.   

The fact that I get to teach others how to do the same makes me
insanely lucky...and it explains why I needed to become the Empress of Stress in the first place.  So, as always, all is truly well.  

Today I just need help (or an intervention) with Emma The Brave’s reduction.  In this particular game, I surrender.